Heartbeat: a delena season 4
by LovingEmerald
Summary: A series related one shots. So, I don't like where season 4 premiere left Delena, so I decided to write my own season 4 that will be centered around DE. Featuring vampire!Elena and snarky Damon. Read their journey as the season progresses and pitch in with your own ideas! :) (I promise the story will be better than the summary, lol)
1. Prologue

_"You feed or you die. There is no third door."_  
- Damon

* * *

Was I ready to die? My heart thudded for a second. Or it would have, if I weren't dead.

No. No, I really wasn't. And maybe it was weak and selfish of me to be like this, but I couldn't, didn't want to die. I had so much to do still, so much to see and taste and live, as ironic as that might sound. And then, there were things... those memories. I had to find out more about them. I needed some answers. So, no, in conclusion, I was not ready to die.

And I couldn't risk Bonnie's life for a one in a billion chance that she could bring me back human. My life wasn't worth hers and I had already put her through so much...

Besides, if I got really bad and became an abomination, I could always stake myself. I really hoped I was brave enough.

"Okay, I'll do it," I said, leaping forward and grabbing the blood bag out of his hands.

Even through the plastic, the smell of the blood was unmistakeable. It didn't repulse me as it might have when she was human. It was strange... this compulsion I felt towards it.

_Breathe in, breathe out._

It was now or never.

I tore off the cap without a second thought and brought the bag up to my lips, gulping it down in one go. The warm blood gushed down my parched throat, gurgling as it went down, spilling over the side of my cheeks and seeping into my blouse. It tasted... delicious. Not tangy and salty and _blood-like_as I'd imagine it would be.

When the last drops had fallen, I threw down the bag, breathless. My eyes burned as I looked at him, waiting for another serving.

I had never felt so satisfied and hungry at the same time before.

* * *

**Author's Note:**** So, I wrote this chapter last night (before the premiere), based on what I thought Elena's transformation should've been like. I think overall 4x01 was okay, but my Delena heart broke in a million pieces.**

**So, I decided I should make a Delena-centric season 4 fic so that we can all huddle and get lost together in our fantasy DE world :3 **

**Anything you want to see in the story, just leave it in the comment, and I will try to incorporate it in one of the chapters!**

**Also, READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **

**Merci!**


	2. Chapter One

**CHAPTER ONE  
**

**Damon POV**

I watch as she grabs another bag from my hand and drinks hungrily. The thirst was killing her, I knew it. I glance at Stefan, who sits by the window, looking passive. I know he's slightly disgusted by her, I can see it in the way his jaw is tightened, but he is also pleased... pleased that _his _girlfriend would be here to spend an _eternity _with him now.

My mind turns sour at the thought, and I have a sudden urge to run out of this house and never come back. Screw Elena. Screw Stefan. Screw them all. If she hadn't almost died, I would've packed my shit and left town last night, like I'd promised Stefan I'd do. He hasn't brought it up yet. I suppose he needs me here now. But there will be a time in the future... I was sure of that.

I wasn't stupid. I knew Elena had picked Saint Stefan and being the stubborn girl that she was, she would be sticking with her choice, even if she had feelings for me. And she did. If the last 6 months without Stefan had taught me anything, it was that Elena Gilbert most definitely had feelings for me.

"_I care about you, Damon," _I hear her voice ringing in my head. I get off the bed abruptly and turn to stare out the window.

I can see her staring at me from the corner of my eye. She looks almost pitiful, the blood running down her chin. She still looks hungry, but I can't give her any more blood. Everything in moderation.

I snatch the bag from her hands. "That's enough," I say, before walking out of the room.

* * *

**Elena POV**

Damon snatches the bag from me and I have a sudden urge to lunge at him and get it back. However, looking at Stefan's face by the window - a mixture of relief and disgust - stops me before I can move.

I look down at my hands and I see blood. So much blood.

_Ugh. _

I almost can't believe this is my life. I shouldn't want it so much. It wasn't right. For the umpteenth time since I've woken up, I wish I could go back to sleep. I wish this is just some sick dream, no doubt brought on by the terrible pressures of my _real _life.

But then I glance at Stefan by the window and the blood on my hands, the cool sheets against my legs, and I know there is no going back.

This is who I am now. The faster I accept it, the less it will hurt.

Or at least, I hope so.

* * *

The moment Stefan kills the guard, I leap to the prison bars, reaching as far as I can to get my hands on his blood. I hadn't fed since two days ago, having been confined to this cell in Paster Young's ranch since I had turned. The vervain... it was dizzying and painful in ways I hadn't imagined till now. But it had died down over night, and the guard had been here to add some fresh supply when Rebekah scared him, causing him to stumble back towards Stefan, who conveniently killed him.

And now I was licking up his blood off the floor like a starving woman in a famine.

Pastor Young was right. We were a bunch of despicable murdering creatures. I was utterly disgusted with myself, and yet, I couldn't stop.

_Why can't I stop?_

* * *

I hear Matt groaning and Damon yelling and before I know it, I've run off and jumped on Damon, pushing him back on the ground and off of my friend.

I couldn't _believe _him! How could he?!

"Leave him alone!" I yell, baring my fangs. My eyes are flashing red, no doubt. I've just fed, after all.

He looks stunned for a moment before reaching up to brush my hair behind my ear.

"Hello, Elena," he says as if this is just another chance encounter.

* * *

**Damon POV**

"You were going to kill him," she says, following behind me.

"Yup. The guy just won't die." I keep walking, hoping she will stop and leave me alone.

"It was my choice to save him," she goes on. "Why can't you see that?"

"A little hard to keep track of all your _choices _lately, Elena," I snap. I'm in no mood for this. Fucking Stefan and fucking Elena. Why couldn't they stop messing up and dragging me out to god knows where to save them?

She gives me a look, and I stalk off, hoping to get home before sunrise.

I go to open the car door, when she says something that stops me in my tracks.

"I remember everything."

_Everything._

And just like that, my feet turn and carry me back to her. When I see her face, I realize I'm holding my breath and I let it out slowly, working very hard to keep my face still.

She goes on: "One of the highlights of my transition... remembering everything that you compelled me to forget." Her voice shakes a little and I have to stomp down on that little ray of hope that pops up inside me.

"Like how you and I met first... you were the stranger that wanted me to get everything I wanted from life. Damon, why didn't you tell me?" she asks softly, and I have to work very hard to remember her words from a few nights ago.

"_No matter what I feel for you, I never un-fell for him. I love him, Damon." _

"Would it have made a difference?" I ask, and my voice sounds surprisingly steady to my ears.

I look at her finally, and her face is full of guilt. Her silence is my answer.

"I didn't think so," I mutter looking away. That little ray of hope dies a natural death.

"You asked me to make a choice, Damon, so I did. If you're going to be mad, then take it out on me. Not on anyone else. ME," she says indignantly, and I can hear the disconnect. This doesn't sound like the conflicted Elena from Denver or the sweet little thing that stood before me on her birthday. This sounds like the girl who told me to get over it when I told her I loved her.

_God, how do I always get dragged into this?_

"Are we done here?" I ask, looking at my car. I can't wait to get out of here, away from her.

But she doesn't get the hint. "If it were you at the bridge that night and not Stefan, and I begged you to save Matt...?" she asks, trying to prove a point, to justify her _choice._

I give it to her. Not to make it easier, but because this is who I am. And I'm done hiding that from her.

"I would've saved you in a heartbeat, no question," I interrupt impatiently.

"That's what I thought. And then Matt would be dead because you couldn't let go" she nods in her self-righteous little way and it pisses me off even more. "Matt would be dead!" she yells.

"But you wouldn't be!" I yell back. "And you would've gotten to grow up and live the life that you wanted, the life that you _deserve. _And I know that I didn't used to get that, but I do now, and _**I wanted that for you, Elena,**_" I tell her, no longer able to control my emotions. She looks upset, but I keep going. "And I would've _gladly _given that to you and let Matt die because I AM that selfish."

I move closer. "But you knew that already." She gulps. She's always so _afraid _of her feelings. It's ironic, considering she used to feed me that garbage about how it was "okay to feel, Damon." Bullshit.

"First night we met's not the only thing you remember," I tell her, and she looks like she is going to cry.

But I don't care anymore because I'm done running from her and sugar-coating everything for her. I throw her a look full of contempt that I feel for this conversation, for our fucked up situation.

This time, I don't ask her or wait. I just walk up to my car, get in, and speed off.

"How fucking _dare _she" keeps running through my head, and I wonder how it is possible to love and hate someone so much at the same time.

* * *

**Elena POV**

I stand staring at the empty space where Damon's car used to be, shivering and struggling to breathe until Stefan comes to get me.

"Where did he go?" he asks, looking around for his brother.

"Let's go home," I say, trying not let my voice shake as I take my boyfriend's hand, and head back home.

* * *

**Author's Note: Whoo! An update within two days of making the story - a record for me! haha.**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I really wanted to incorporate some stuff from the actual episode and try to put a Delena spin on it.  
**

**As you guys have probably caught on, in this story, Elena turns voluntarily, but is captured along with Stefan when Pastor Young makes his rounds on Mystic Falls. Also, in this story, it takes Damon two days to track Stefan and Elena down, not one afternoon.  
**

**I know Damon comes off as really bitter right now, but after being rejected by what he thinks is the love his life YET AGAIN, I imagine he is pretty hurt. And he doesn't even have his best friend to help him deal with the blow anymore so... I feel for Damon :( Poor guy.  
**

**Anyway, please REVIEW! I really enjoyed reading them and I promise to incorporate at least some of your ideas in the next chapters.  
**

**Until next time!  
**

**xoxo  
**


	3. Chapter Two

**CHAPTER TWO  
**

_"You're a vampire, Elena. Be a vampire" _

- Damon

* * *

That night she twists and turns, sleep out of reach as Damon's face and words keep running through her mind. The gravity of the previous days' events hasn't quite hit her yet, and as she lies awake, she wonders if she will ever understand what it means to be a vampire. All of this felt too unreal, too temporary. Life stretched out in front of her now, unbound by any expectation of growth or death. If death did come to her, it would be sudden and unanticipated and she would have no time to prepare for it; no goodbye to Jeremy, no one last sleepover with the girls, no time to choose.

_You've already chosen_, the voice inside her head reminds her.

Beside her, Stefan sleeps peacefully, happy to have forever with her.

* * *

The next morning, Stefan takes her hunting. Having had to adjust to vampire life on his own for the first few years - and taking countless lives in the process - he is determined to help her curb her hunger and control her instincts. His logic seems simple enough: if she starts directly off of animal blood, if she never hunts and drinks from a human, never tastes their blood, then she cannot become addicted to it; she cannot repeat his mistakes.

But Damon disagrees. He thinks it is vampiric nature to want human blood and if Stefan tries to suppress her hunger, he could create another ripper. Besides, he points out, she's already had a taste of the bagged stuff. It's already too late.

Before they leave the house, he says, turning to her: "You're a vampire, Elena. Be a vampire." He has a grim look on his face as he ducks out of the room. She hesitates for a moment before leaving with Stefan. She doesn't want to hurt anyone, so she's determined to make this work.

* * *

The hunt is terrifying and exhilarating. Once she gets a hang of the running and jumping at her new heightened speed, she climbs all over the trees, creeping over the leaves, stalking deer. But the euphoria ends when she bites down into the animal's neck and it screams so loudly that she almost lets go. hen it is drained and dead at her feet, she stays rooted to the spot in a stupor, shocked at her ruthlessness, her… _animalism._ This was no blood bag. It was a live body and she's killed it.

It's only when Stefan takes her into his arms and wipes her face that she realizes she's crying.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, she's hunched over the toilet puking out the animal blood she had gone such great lengths to acquire.  
Breathing hard, she grips the edge of the toilet to hold herself up. Her stomach turns once again and she has to breath really hard to keep herself from throwing up again.

They were in the middle of making out - her and Stefan - when she'd suddenly felt sick to her stomach, not unlike that day many years ago when she had eaten from a roadside bar with Bonnie and Matt, and gotten food poisoning on the way home. Anyway, then the blood had come up suddenly and she had run away from Stefan without an explanation.

How was she going to explain this to him? He had wanted so badly for her to get habituated to animal blood, to be like him.

It was something they could share, he'd told her after calming her down in the forest. He had always felt alone in this and was glad to finally have an accomplice.

But then as she gasps back another wave of nausea, she wonders if she can do this animal blood thing again. This was nothing like what drinking from the blood bag had been. The blood bag was warmth and pleasure and satisfaction. The animal blood just made her sick, in more ways than one.

After another ten minutes on the floor, she finally finds the strength to stand up. The tiles around the toilet are spotted crimson. There's not a particle of food; just blood. Looking in the mirror, Elena finds that her clothes are in a similar state of soil. The front of her t-shirt has a big blotch of blood and her chin is caked as well.

Feeling strong enough to move now, she sheds her clothes and steps into the shower, thankful for the warm comfort.

_I can't tell Stefan,_ she realizes as the water cleanses her. I_ don't even know if this is a first time thing. Maybe this is what happens to everyone when they first switch to animal blood. I need to gather more evidence before I disappoint him over this. _

And as the water spirals down the drain, she knows just who to turn for help.

* * *

**Author's Note: I'm back! I wrote this entire chapter out on paper and it was such a nice experience! I should do it more often, lol.**

**As you will notice, I am divulging a bit from the show. I think the whole "Elena is a special unicorn vampire who can only drink from the vien" is bullshit and I want Elena to own up to being a vampire and CHOOSE human blood the way Caroline and Damon have. **

**Anyway, with that in mind, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! So I can update faster and tell you guys who she turns to for help ;) **

**xoxo**

**-LE**


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